Pirates of the Retail Wasteland
by
Adam Selzer
Order:
USA
Can
Delacorte, 2008 (2008)
Hardcover, e-Book
Read an Excerpt
Reviewed by Hilary Williamson
I
n
Pirates of the Retail Wasteland
, Adam Selzer gives us a story about a group of friends who are all untypical eighth grade students. The school's
gifted pool
- '
a bunch of miscreants - commies, perverts, and pyros who happened to score well on standardized tests
' - is comprised of rebels.
T
he story's narrator, Leon, is embarrassed by his roleplaying parents (the roles in sync with recipes they find in books - like
True Americans are Grilling Americans
- from the local thrift store and then try out at home) and by his accountant dad's green Mohawk hairstyle. Leon is attracted to sophisticated Anna (who '
had practically been bottle-fed on coffee
'), but is very unsure of where he stands with her, even after she gives him a hickey. Edie, the
commie
, and
pyro
Brian are a couple. Jenny feels like she's '
busting out of jail
' any time she can get away from her overprotective, overcontrolling parents - and has a crush on Leon.
A
fter gifted pool students are assigned a project to build some sort of monument, Dustin and James decide to go after unpopular gym teacher, Coach Hunter, leaving a series of depressing poems for him to find. But Leon's group is more ambitious. They decide to make '
a short documentary contrasting the style and substance of the old downtown versus the faceless corporate garbage of the new strip malls.
' To make the film, they embark on an act of
piracy
, by taking over a coffeeshop, Wackford's, which is part of a chain.
T
hey do make the movie, helped by a
McHobo
employed at the coffee shop. And along the way, Leon's love triangle is resolved in this quirky, meandering, funny story about the importance of taking a stand.
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