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Lasting Love: The 5 Secrets of Growing a Vital, Conscious Relationship    by Gay Hendricks & Kathlyn Hendricks order for
Lasting Love
by Gay Hendricks
Order:  USA  Can
Rodale, 2004 (2004)

Read an Excerpt

* *   Reviewed by Hilary Williamson

Relationship experts, Drs. Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks, authors of the bestseller Conscious Loving, offer the 'secrets' to growing and maintaining a relationship of 'lasting love'. They tell us to work on five issues - commitment, emotional transparency, sharing responsibility, creative individuation, and appreciation - and provide tools and activity worksheets used over the years in their own seminars to help the process along.

We learn that commitment requires the willingness to reveal who we really are 'beneath all the learned survival responses of early life.' The authors tell us that 'One moment of emotional transparency can work miracles in a relationship.' They explain in detail how to share responsibility and break the habit of 'chronic blame and criticism' (this is a useful one to apply with teens as well). They warn that if partners do not each explore their own creativity, they begin to blame the relationship for 'boredom and dissatisfaction'. And they provide many examples of the magic brought to relationships by the 'power of appreciating'. A section includes activities for partners to work on together, followed by 'Relationship ER', recommending 'what to do when the building's on fire'. This includes topics like body language signals that a partner is lying, how to deal with fear, and to tell difficult truths.

These suggestions, that in retrospect seem like simple common sense, can blow fresh air through dusty and damaging old behavior patterns. Take the lessons in Lasting Love to heart, and use them to re-vitalize relationships (with children as well as partners) that are important in your life.

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